When Cuffing Season Ends: Coping With Breakups

Now that the first month of 2016 has come to an end, many have been using the New Year as a way to self-reflect. You know…

New Year.

New Me.

We must say, self-reflection is hard when everyone around you is either getting engaged, having another child, or breaking up. If you’re dealing with the latter, breaking up probably was not the way you thought you would be starting out your year — especially right before Valentine’s Day! So what’s the right way to end a relationship? Self-reflect, cope with negative and lingering feelings, and make a plan to move on.

You should also consider the following when dealing with a break up:

Accept Responsibility for Your Own Actions.

http://lifehacker.com/how-to-get-along-with-your-ex-after-a-breakup-1671056421
http://lifehacker.com/how-to-get-along-with-your-ex-after-a-breakup-1671056421

The blame game is an easy game to play during and following a break-up. But in reality, what do you gain from pointing fingers? Nothing at all. So it’s healthier to avoid all that and just accept why your relationship got to this point – how did your own actions contribute to this breakup? You have to remember, if you partner was such an awful person, you chose to be with this awful person for x amount of days, months, years. So, just take this L as a lesson learned.

Cut Off Communication.

http://www.theverge.com/2015/11/19/9758232/facebook-got-a-long-list-of-ex-lovers
http://www.theverge.com/2015/11/19/9758232/facebook-got-a-long-list-of-ex-lovers

In most cases, this is possible (unless children are involved). But for most couples, a clean break is really the best plan. Like, who wants to deal with a messy break-up? No one. But sometimes, feelings will linger and you will reconsider if the decision that has been made was the right decision. Instead of dwelling on the situation, surround yourself with people who love and support you — friends and family members.

The Rebound.

Rebounding? Well, for some people, their rebound game is on point. They rebound with no intentions of starting a new relationship. It’s a way for them to ease the pain of just going through a breakup. For others, it can be a very, very dangerous attempt at getting over an ex. Simply put, if you’re a love junkie, rebound sex, will only turn into a rebound romance, and eventually rebound love. This is a situation that’s not fair to you or the person you’re rebounding with. If you feel yourself going down this road, take a step back, and learn to contain yourself.

Give Social Media a Break.

This is plain and simple. De-friend. Unfollow. Delete, delete, delete! And in some extreme cases… Block your ex. Disconnect any online connections to avoid seeing anything that can be upsetting post-breakup. When you’re trying to move on, getting constant updates on your ex is totally counterproductive. Online contact and the ever-so tempting Facebook stalking can make you wallow in your feelings. Plus, no one likes sad Facebook statuses OR pity-party rants via Twitter. Just don’t be THAT person.

Look On The Bright Side

While it may be easy to dwell on the negative, one door closing is often another opening! Maybe your breakup will allow you to focus on areas of your life that haven’t gotten the attention they needed. Your breakup might even be the opportunity for your real Mr. or Mrs. right to walk thru the door! Chances are, your life is playing out the way it’s supposed to and change, though scary, is often the sign of something great on the way!

It’s always hard to say goodbye to someone. Breaking up is not easy, but remember the ultimate end goal is to move on. Moving on is much more easily achieved when the relationships demise is confronted and then accepted.

Do you have any tips for moving on from a relationship? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!

—Lydia Moore-Hill

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