There are like a bajillion lessons that we are forced to learn throughout our lives. We learn to tie our shoes, we learn to solve math problems that only 2% of the population will ever use, and one day, we will all have to learn the painful lesson of letting go.
It takes some of us longer than others, but no matter your personality type or how hard you try to fight it, this is one of the most difficult lessons of all.
If you’re a person that holds your experiences and relationships near to your heart, saying goodbye can be super difficult. To be frank, it hurts like hell. Many of us like to pride ourselves in having friendships that have lasted decades, and though we’d all like to carry things from our memories into the future, everybody/thing just isn’t going to make the cut. And that’s okay!
This letting go process isn’t easy for anyone and don’t let the phrase “time heals all” fool you, you’ve got to do more than watch the clock go by to truly free yourself of something that used to have your heart. We’ve all been there, but we don’t have to stay there! So here are 3 tips to mastering the art of letting go.
1. Accept That Things Are Different Now
So life happened and things aren’t like they used to be anymore. You’ve got to accept that fact! Just because something that used to make you happy is now gone or different, it doesn’t mean that you can’t find happiness again. Getting out of your fantasy world and coming down to reality is a crucial part of moving on. Aw poor thing, you thought that you and your high school sweet heart were going to work it out and live happily ever after? Well you’re not. So now what? Either you’re going to be sad forever or you’re going to make the decision to let go. You can’t continue to make excuses for why something didn’t go your way or search on and on for some closure you might never get. Cry if you need to (just not too long), and come to terms with your new situation. It gets better.
2. Don’t Look Back
The worst thing that a person can do when trying to move on from something is continue to keep it as a constant factor in their life. If you’re trying to move on from your ex, I’m sorry honey, but you do NOT need to be following their every move on Snapchat or Twitter, and the Good Lord knows Instagram will have your feelings hurt! If you’re letting go of substance abuse, you’re going to have to remove the people and places from your life that put you in that situation again. Try and replace that time spent with your bad habit, damaging relationship, or lost love with something else that can make you feel just as good. Maybe it’s a new hobby or a closer relationship with a healthy friend or family member.
3. Learn From Your Past
Learning from your past is one of the most helpful tools in letting go. Sometimes, the most painful thing about moving on from a situation is feeling that all of the effort and time that was put into building something was wasted. But it wasn’t all for nothing! You might have experienced good times with someone, but they were just that — good times. You don’t have to be bitter about it. Try to reflect and learn about yourself and others from your past, and it won’t feel like it was all in vain. And as far as never finding that type of happiness again? Child please, it’s a big world out there. Experience it!
There’s never been a better time to let go. After all, it’s Self-Love September! Check out our other self-love posts.
❤ Kindra Moné; editor in chief