Is Your BFF a Frenemy?

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Beware of the frenemy! She laughs in your face and talks behind your back. This is not a friendship you want to have because it can be emotionally draining. Here are some questions you may want to ask yourself if you suspect that your friend isn’t who she appears to be.

Does she have your back?

If she hears someone speaking negatively about you, will she defend you or join in the conversation? Pay attention to how many of her “friends” she gossips about with you. A friend should be your friend whether you are present or not.

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Does she want to see you succeed?

A real friend wants nothing but the best for you. Let’s say you made an A on an exam and you tell your friend. If she does not share your happiness, she may be a frenemy. Jealousy is a terrible trait because this girl will only bring you down to her level of thinking. Does she disappear in times of rejection or failure? A friend is supposed to appreciate and celebrate your victories as if they were their own AND boost you up when you’re at your worst.

Does she keep your secrets?

Have you ever told your friend something personal only to have it repeated to you by someone else? A friend is someone that you should be able to trust. They should respect that you trust them with your business and keep it to themselves.

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Remember that YOU could be playing the role of a frenemy. Take note of the undesirable traits mentioned and decide if they reflect your character. Try your best to alter your behavior, because you could be hurting a friend just as much as they are hurting you.


Tierra Thomas,
PABPG Collegiate Ambassador

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