Be Good to Your Daughters Too.

That hour turned into weeks
& the saying you used to say that made me weak
turned my heart cold
& all that was left was a faint ass beat
I tried to keep it moving but see you had a way
A way that swayed & I yearned for you to stay
You said you’d be right back
Man I was a fool, leaking love like a yoke from an egg that was cracked
Put back in the carton for another fool’s use
But I couldn’t let it show cause you were my second God
Everything you said was true & anyone dissing you was a straight fraud
They didn’t know who you really were just the horror stories your whore told
She said you didn’t love us, but I knew you loved me
‘Cause you said so , you were God and see God never did wrong
But in actuality it was you who was the fraud
See I forgot satan himself was the most ravishing angel
& even after his fall he still had so much charm
You tainted me, & for a while I didn’t know my worth
I didn’t even know it ’cause I was hurting without knowing I was hurt
A man of your stature could never do any harm
See you were God & God did no wrong
& it wasn’t your fault you were gone.
Besides you said you’d be right back
Time kept on tickin’ & everything around us was all off wack
I realized you weren’t God and all you did was lie
I kept forgetting the devil himself was once among the Lord
So he knew the ways. What & what not to say
Your whore was actually the good light
It was you who was no good
A cardboard box set outside
You were perfect until the rain
You were everything I needed , until the water came
You couldn’t stand the test of time
All the love you said you had must have dissolved .

the-pain-of-an-absent-father

Father’s Day was once an extremely hard, bitter, and treacherous day. Growing up 9.5 out of 10 of my friends either had their dads in the home or still very active in their lives. My father moved our small and young family to South Carolina in 1999, away from all family or anything familiar. I won’t go into much detail, but he left. He packed his things and just left. For years I was hurt or had unresolved “daddy issues.” Like most children I thought it was my fault or if I did something a little different he would’ve never left. For years I had an unspoken beef with my mom. It’s actually pretty funny to me now because it was her who was going to school at night busting her butt during the day & weekends to make sure we didn’t go without. I might not have had the latest this or the newest that but my mom did her best to provide and give us love. My mom never tried to be my father or replace him with things, people, or any other man. She did work her hardest to provide for us. Whenever I’d have a moment she’d always tell me ” God is whatever you need Him to be, but you have to let Him.” It wasn’t until recent years I actually got the meaning of it. A lot of times we out our faith or trust in man and for me it was my dad. To me, he was the epitome of perfectness and he could no wrong. For the longest I just wanted to be ” daddy’s little girl” I just didn’t have my dad to do that with. People will let you down, not saying you can’t trust people— I’m just trying to make the point of how you trust. We all have faults and we all at some point fall short. How we handle those situations or deal with people afterwards makes all the difference. You have to forgive people, no matter what wrong they’ve done (even if they don’t deserve the gum on your shoe) forgiveness is for you. I’m not saying I’m completely perfect now or will I ever be. I deal with things, people, and feelings daily, but I’ll never let life situations or circumstances stop the things I was meant to do. Every now and then I have an ” I want my daddy ” moment but I’ve been put in a great place in life where I’m doing great things. There are plenty of people who care about me and just because one person decided to be absent doesn’t mean my value or my life purpose decreases and neither does YOURS, PrettyGirl! Keep your head up and continue to walk in your purpose!

-Denee’, VP of PABPG Inc.

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