In today’s world, and since the beginning of time, it’s extremely rude to approach a heavier set woman and comment on her weight. Very offensive. Very tacky. And just plain rude. On the flip side, it’s nothing to approach a petite, small, or skinny woman and make comments about her weight such as “you’re too little,” “you need to eat more,” and “I had no idea you were so small” to name a few.
For those of you who don’t know me personally, I am 5’2 and 108 lbs (and I’ve recently gained those 4 pounds). So I am quite petite. I eat ALL the time and never gain weight. Being an African-American woman that is constantly exposed to this notion of “thick is it,” I came really, really close to having low self-esteem about my size.
Notice I said “came really close.” I was able to catch myself and realize a few things:
- Most people who make comments about petite women don’t even realize they’re being rude. (Yes, it’s mind blowing to me as well.) It’s one thing to comment on my size, but to do it in a demeaning and offensive way is not cool.
- I’m actually the perfect size for my height. And I’m not just saying this. My doctor confirmed it and I’m also an exercise science major so I know how to calculate idea body weights.
- If you’re a petite girl like me reading this, it is important that we stay focused on the future. 10 or 20 years from now when our metabolisms slow down, we’ll be thankful. My mom is in her 40s (but looks like my sister) and is only 120 lbs.
- You have to rock what God gave you! And this goes for everyone no matter your body type. As long as you’re healthy and feel great about yourself, what others think about you shouldn’t matter.
I think it’s extremely important to teach girls and women that you don’t have to look a certain way to be beautiful. I love thick women! But I think it’s absolutely ridiculous how many women are undergoing surgery to get bigger butts and thighs. Black women, in particular, are constantly being bombarded with images of thick women and are constantly hearing from a lot of our black men that thick is far more attractive to being petite. Don’t believe the hype.
It all starts within. I have accepted my size and I now love it. No one can make you feel bad about your body unless you allow them to. You have to be so confident in yourself that negative words or comments can’t bring you down. And here’s a secret, a lot of people that try to point out your imperfections do so because there’s something within them or about them that they don’t like. Instead of dealing with their own problems, they try to point out your problems instead which boosts their low self-esteem.
So the moral of the story is, focus less on looking a certain way and more on being healthy. We’re all perfect just the way God created us and don’t let anyone tell you differently.
PS- But seriously, don’t comment on a petite woman’s weight in a negative way. We can get offended too.
-Jessica, Founder of PABPG Inc.